Monday, 11 July 2011

OWL Comments

Minerva McGonagall, Severus Snape, Sybill Trelawney and Dolores Umbridge walked out of Dumbledore's office with varying levels of annoyance. This new procedure that had been instated by the Minister of Magic would take a lot of time and effort which none of them were too happy about.

Professor McGonagall

'What shall I say about Potter? One of the bravest, most selfless students I have ever had. One of the most idiotic, foolish students I have ever had. Both would probably work... Poor boy. He's too busy escaping Death Eaters and overpowering dementors to give full attention to his studies.' She allowed herself a smile. 'At least he took more modesty from Lily than he did arrogance from James. Unfortunately, he is also as stubborn as she had been,' she thought, mentally calculating the preposterous number of detentions he had been through this year alone. 'I suppose it was a fair trade in the end - Harry has inherited his father's Quidditch skills.'

What was actually written...

Potter has received high results in Transfiguration. He works dilligently in class most of the time and is only sometimes a distraction for his peers. He has shown a good attitude and has therefore exceeded the expectations set out by the Ministry of Magic. Potter is encouraged to take a more active role in his work to ensure he maintains his high marks.

Professor Snape

'Potter is an insolent, egotistic, idiotic, rule-breaking brat thrilled by his undeserved fame. He is a mirror image of his father: arrogant and impertinent. His ego is larger than Dumbledore's beard. It's a wonder he got the marks he did - Potter exceeding expectations? I can only imagine the special treatment the examiners must have given him to get him to that level. It is no matter, anyway. I will not have to let him into my class next year and his dreams of being and Auror will vanish into a pathetic black hole.

What was actually written...

Potter shows a continuous lack of intelligence and respect for his professors in the classroom. He rarely follows instructions and cannot be trusted to interact with his peers in a positive manner. His knowledge of potion ingredients and formulas lacks confidence and execution and his assignments tend to fall short of the given criteria. Potter is encouraged to pay more attention to his schoolwork.

Professor Trelawney

'Harry Potter... So much good material to work off of. Having him in my class was a blessing - he made a magnificent Object. For a moment, I thought he had connected with the Inner Eye - his dream diary entries were refreshingly honest - but alas, he does not possess the gift that I have.

What was actually written...

Harry Potter's life should be treasured and cherished, for the spirits have forewarned me that he will not be among us in the near future. In addition to the omen of death that stalks him at every turn, there have been many assurances from the spirits I converse with that his life is doomed to an eternity of misery and despair. Fate has prompted me and I have spoken!

Professor Umbridge

'Harry Potter - what a despicable boy. He is always challenging my authority by spreading those nasty lies he prefers over the truth that the Ministry and I know what is best for the Wizarding World. It's a pity that there is no legal way (at the moment) for me to dispose of him so that he will not continue to taint the innocent minds of his fellow classmates. I will simply have to put faith in Cornelius that this entire Potter situation will be resolved soon.'

What was actually written...

Harry Potter exhibits behaviour unsuitable for a Hogwarts student. He has achieved poor results on all classwork and is constantly disobeying the rules set out to ensure he remains safe while in school. Potter is often a disruption in class and even encourages his classmates to aid him in a never-ending tirade of attention-seeking lies.

Whew, those teachers. We have every side of the spectrum up there in terms of what Harry actually should have written on his report card. Make sure to leave a comment telling me which professor (doesn't need to be up there) is your personal favourite. It could be someone who was genuinely nice to Harry, like Lupin, or you could be a sadistic reader and choose someone like... I don't know, Lockhart. I'm interested to see what you guys say!

Also, don't forget to check out the blogs of my co-hosts who are infinitely more talented and amazing than I am.


  1. I love these so much!! It's exactly what I'd imagine the teachers to think/write about Harry. You nailed them all so, so well. I love Trelawney's eagerness for such a supposedly ill-fated 'Object'. It's funny, Snape's makes me laugh because I'd expect nothing less from him, but Umbridge's makes me want to reach through the screen and stick my wand up her nose. She is so infuriating. Which is a compliment to you perfecting her voice ;)

  2. Snape's is the best :P. I can so imagine him saying that, that's exactly the kind of thing he would say about Harry. Umbridge's is hilarious too - but McGonagall is awesome, I've always loved her!

  3. One of my favourites is Professor McGonagall - I have to say I just love her dry wit. She's strict but truly cares about Harry :)

  4. Severus Snape is my favourite. While I would like to punch him most of the time his story really did break my heart. He's one of the most complex and well developed characters ever. This Harry Potter week is great. Loving it so far.

  5. Brodie: LOL, thank you! I have no idea how I managed to pull off Umbridge but... thank you :)

    Liz: Yeah, and the thing is that obviously the Dursleys wouldn't even care (or see the comments). Can you imagine Mrs. Weasley if she saw Snape's comments though? O_O LOL.

    Danya: Aw, yeah :) I love McGonagall too. It seriously broke my heart when she was the first to yell Harry's name when they returned from the forest.

    Kathy: Yeah, The Prince's Tale made me so emotional. I think it was amazing the way Jo developped his character - I really didn't even know which side he was on until the end.

    Glad you're liking it!!

  6. I totally read all of those in the actor's voices. They're all so amusing :D Snape's of course is the best.

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